Your Presence Is Surprising


  1. BAD ENOUGH:

    1) Walk into bathroom at work.

    2) See all stalls occupied but one.

    3) Go to unoccupied stall.

    4) Sit.

    5) Notice lingering warmth from previous occupant.

    6) Stifle vomit.

    MUCH WORSE:

    1a) Upon entry, note there is a single human washing their hands.

    7) Envision actual naked ass of hand washing human having just left the space currently occupied by your own naked ass.

    8) Successfully vomit.

  2. Shhhhhh… There’s a Deadpool hiding on my ankle.

    Shhhhhh… There’s a Deadpool hiding on my ankle.

  3. 20 minutes

    Like piranhas on a chocolate cow.

  4. Let’s see how quickly these go.

    Let’s see how quickly these go.

  5. Tonight: on Squirrel Hunters…

    Tonight: on Squirrel Hunters…

  6. Lazy Sundog

    Lazy Sundog

  7. This is 48 seconds of my dog figuring out how the fountain at the dog park works. Bonus: she likes to attack water.

  8. From the Autumn cover of “Ominous Restrooms Quarterly”

    From the Autumn cover of “Ominous Restrooms Quarterly”

  9. The new timelapse feature is extremely useful.

  10. You and I are going to get along just fine, new iOS keyboard.

    You and I are going to get along just fine, new iOS keyboard.